All-Day Muffins

I firmly believe that muffins are the greatest snack you can have. I know this is highly debatable, but I stand by my opinion. Here's why:

• They have sweetness. All the best snacks are sweet.
• They have fiber. Fiber keeps you full.
• They are infinitely variable. Variety is the... you know.
• They are appropriate to eat at any time, day or night.  

I was once the head cook at a camp, and we baked our muffins in sheet pans. Easier to prepare, easier to serve, easier to clean up after. (Who wants to spend their morning scrubbing out 100 holes? Not me. And not my dish crew.) Any leftover slabs of muffin got piled on a plate, and though they might languish in the morning, the kids would fight over them come 2 o'clock. 

Behold, the powers of Spray Paint

If you didn't know it already, I want to enlighten you to a cheap and easy way to makeover old things: Spray Paint! 

I bought an ugly wicker hamper a while ago at a garage sale. It was $5, and it was the aqua green of your grandma's bathroom. It had a marbled green tile stuck crookedly to the top. The paint was cracked. I didn't take any "before" pictures, so use your imagination. It was not something I would ever use as-is, but spray paint changes everything! The top and frame are made from real wood, and the wicker was in good shape. After I washed it and sanded it, I realized that even the wicker was wood! This thing is solid. 

So, no before pictures, but here's what it looks like now:

Details ahead!

Kitchen Smackdown! Rhubarb Cake!

As mentioned in my last post, I was recently gifted with HEAPS and HEAPS of rhubarb. That same day, I'd examined the three rhubarb plants in our front yard and saw that they were more than ready to be cut. What to do with so much rhubarb? The sweet-tart, and sweet-sweet-sweet answer, is after the jump.

What to do with Rhubarb, or, My sink overfloweth

Last week I was at my local fruit stand and saw an employee sorting through the rhubarb. She turned to a colleague and said "It's all bad. It all has to go." Now, something you need to know about me: I love free stuff. The rhubarb looked all right to me, so I said to her in my saddest-sounding voice, "You're throwing all of that away?" And just like I hoped, she offered it to me. For free. The photo above has the cantaloupe for comparison purposes.

I wish I would have weighed the box. I think it was between 30 and 40 pounds. The ends were a tiny bit slimy, and maybe three stalks were getting soft, but the rest was great. I washed it, chopped it up, and froze it in zippy bags in 10 cup quantities. That was 50 cups worth of rhubarb, and I still had one-third of that box there. 

So what did I do with the rest? I'll let you know in future posts, but here's a hint: chutney. And jam. And cake. And crisp. And if you want some rhubarb, we actually have a bunch growing in our front yard we'd be happy to share!

Escabeche and Kiwi Lime Jam

I am a canning fool. My pantry is well-stocked already, and I can't stop dreaming of all the other goodies I want to make.  I really want to try a version of the Dark Days challenge throughout this winter, and my inner pioneer woman couldn't be more delighted.

Before you start canning for yourself, please take time to read up on proper canning techniques. There are certain hard and fast rules you want to follow to ensure that all your time and effort produces delicious food that is safe to eat. There are many excellent resources that discuss each step in detail. Two I recommend and often use myself are Marisa McClellan's blog Food in Jars and a book I borrow from my local library, "Joy of Cooking: All about canning and preserving" from the Joy of Cooking empire.

The last recipes I canned were a delicious Kiwi Lime Jam, and a mix of jalepenos and other veggies in a strong brine. 

This is true

The most sadistic pleasure I've ever taken in something was throwing up on my orthodontist.

Nombre uno

I took three quarters of Spanish in college (they said it was like three years of high school Spanish -- I'm not sure how that math works out there). I swear to you, EVERY TIME WE TOOK A TEST I would look at the top of the page, where it looks like this

Nombre  ______________________

and I would think to myself "What number test IS this?!? I haven't been keeping track!"

and every time some fool would raise their hand and ask the teacher that exact question, and she would sigh and probably pray that la chupacabra would haunt us.

In related news, I went to Spain last year, and I successfully asked a man where the green line was. And I totally forgot about es/esta. And I yelled out to a woman "I'm sorry, I don't speak!" and then the elevator doors between us closed.